This week pretty much sucked on the running front. I think I ran 20 miles. Monday was an easy 5ish miler to recover from the hard 17. Tuesday was 13-14 miles of hills and dirt roads with Jeremiah. I took a day off wednesday in preparation for a mid-week long run. On Wednesday I got sick. I assumed it was just a little stuffiness and a lack of sleep, but it got progressively worse. By Friday, I was passing out after work, and waking up in time to get up and go back to the shop. A downward spiral took effect once I was simply alternating between environments of foundry dust and dog hair.
A little time of absolutely no running was...weird. Usually, I'm at least thinking about running, talking about running, or looking at running-related material online. Times have changed a little. I now work in an environment where I rarely talk to anyone about anything, especially not my little jogging addiction. Limited internet access keeps me out of my online social circles, and all the hours are keeping me from my "real world" training partners. It was a true 5 day retreat from my running-centered world.
This was a reminder that we really are alone at the end of the day. I don't say this to be negative or pessimistic. I mean that when we look at ourselves and our motivations in life, we have to take extra caution not to get caught up in other people's worlds. I'm often preoccupied with whether I'm being present-minded or continuing to do this because it's just what I've been doing. I see the online training logs of friends, and feel inadequate. Do I still love to run? Could the simple act of jogging from A to B really be holding my interest for this long?
The answer is yes. It's not a passing interest, nor a search for validation. I've always been the undercheiving slacker amongst friends. I've just got to accept that I've found something I actually care about and have my own way of doing it. I'm feeling a sense of security that almost feels foreign. I think it's coming from accepting who I am. Is some elite runner status in my future? Most likely not. Can I continue to improve, seek advendture, and live a life of passion and pursuit of my personal potential? Oh, hell yes, and excuse the alliteration. I've done some fun things in my short time, and the ideas are just starting to roll in.
As far as a week off from illness? Not too worried. As the wise red-assed baboon from the Lion King said, "Who Cares? It's in the Past!"