Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Things to do with a lonely 2.5 hour layover in a decidedly uncrowded airport:

(Im aware that this is not all that clever.)

Ride the moving floor in a circle for 25 minutes.

Wait until nobody is on, then go the wrong way on aforementioned moving floor.

Eat spaghetti covered in chili for breakfast.

Enjoy being up in time for McDonald’s breakfast(yes, two breakfasts. Nobody is around long enough to judge you or care).

Read an article in a magazine until asked “you gonna buy anything?” Go next door to other news stand, continue reading article.

Shop for jewelry. Pretend to have money.

Say the classic Seinfeld line “I like to stop at the duty free shop” to the person next to you.

This isn’t the way I normally act in public. Apparently its ok to check your common sense with your bags at the aeropuerto.

They (TSA) took my leave in conditioner, so I had to count my afro as a carry on when the humidity turned up.

I bet the whole world looks like this when we finally fuck the air up bad enough. Entire cities in a little bubble.

Ever see that film adaptation of the Stephen King book “the Langoliers?”

Just saw a guy in a blue polyester suit. Appears to be an Indian Eric Estrada impersonator. Seriously, he looks cool. I’m not even cool enough to wear one polyester garment at a time.

The only things on me right now that don’t fall into the “swag” category are my socks…and they have holes in them.

If I had Twitter account I’d be blowin’ that bitch up right now.

Will wifi ever just kind of hang in the ether for us to use freely? Electricity is free. They don’t charge for water or toilet flushes. Who knows which way that scale will tip.

Does anyone talk to anyone here? I must look creepy sitting here smiling and shit.


  1. Not only have I seen the Langoliers, but I've actually been IN the airport where they filmed it. It's in Bangor Maine and that's where we stopped on the way back from Iraq. Kind of a weird experience really.

  2. Glad that reference didn't go unnoticed! I saw it at a young age. Kind of one of those weird things that stuck with me forever.

  3. excellent post and, just to be clear, i never stopped believing that the past is being perpetually consumed by hoards of saw-toothed blob things.

  4. P, The post was largely inspired by the funny/insightful/crazy shit I read on your blog. Keep on keepin' on!